if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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