I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
