wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
