At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
