i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you had me at cake vodka
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
