I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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