Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
