Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
