school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
is that a dick in a sweater?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
