i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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