Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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