I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
