Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
