if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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