yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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