Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
