As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
