I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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