you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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