I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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