do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
