he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
