i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
