Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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