We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
