Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
