It's Friday. Sex?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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