Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am available for nakedness
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
