Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
