i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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