i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
