so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
