Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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