im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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