i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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