i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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