I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
