youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
