WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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