just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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