I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
