I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I stole a fireplace last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
