quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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