I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
