Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
