i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
