I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
