when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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