Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My hand turned me down
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
