This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
