Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
foreskin is a definite game changer
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
