This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
